The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
