your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
