I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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