Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
