I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
