I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize