yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
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No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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