apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
