ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
