I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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