I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
