I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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