Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
