AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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