You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
