PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so let's talk penis.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
