it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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