thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
