Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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