i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
