wakey wakey hands off snakey
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
they're like a gay fantastic four
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
