i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
