She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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