hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
