So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize