I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
