You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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