Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you win again, gameday.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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