watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She bit a glass in half.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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