beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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