Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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