Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
