all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
