I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
