So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
