You're my little dorito
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
