best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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