Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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