sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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