She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
