Sry I called you an 8
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
