hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
