It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
is it fun? or sober?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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