I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
