I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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