i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
