To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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