I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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