I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
