Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
