PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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