"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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