her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
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Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
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So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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