One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Someone came in the potted fern
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
