She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
