I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
