My liver just broke up with me...
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
