Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
