coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just had sex on a roof
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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