Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
