my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
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