You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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