What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
