I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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