And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
