cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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