that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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