Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
