I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I intend to get homeless drunk
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
