Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
