How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
