Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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