Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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