im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
